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[17 Jan 2008|08:53pm] |
I totally talked myself out of having a panic attack for the first time ever today. I'm actually kind of proud of myself, I guess.
I was in a great mood all day, but on my way home after finals, (with no heat and my windows down because I also have no defroster), I got a huge wave of panic that it would cost like $600 to fix my heat/defroster and that winter would never end, that it would just be freezing and windy forever and ever. And then my schizophrenic tendencies from my dad kicked in and I started daydreaming that my skin was freezing and peeling off my body and I got freaked out.
It's irrational, I know. It's just that being cold is the one thing I cannot stand. I love about 90° weather, I have a pretty good handle on pain, I'm not grossed out by many things... I just can't handle being cold.
So I got home and started telling my mom that there's no way I can drive my car another week without heat, and my brain does that "hey brittany, you're gonna have a panic attack! And you're gonna cry in front of people and it's gonna SUCK!!!"
But I escaped to the basement and did the whole breathing and trying to make myself laugh thing. It worked, for the most part, but I did spend the rest of the day yelling out the window of my mom's truck "Why are you so cold today? There's not even a rational reason that Iowa winters should be so fucking disgusting!"
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